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Friday, May 25, 2007

"You don't know a women till you've met her in in bed and in court!"
- Unknown Source

I just sent the lady back from work. Seriously and honestly speaking. Can someone please tell me how to win over a person who's 9 years older than you? Someone used to tell me this, "When it comes to relationship, there is no difference in the reaction of a 30 year old lady to that of a 16 year old teenager." But it doesnt seem so..

She just told me that she's pretty independent and she had just managed how to fix a fan. With that accomplishment, she casually commented that she might not need a Man in her life after all. That gave me an inspiration to type this entry.

A few reasons why girls doesnt need a guy in their life.

1) They definitely do not need a breadwinning husband. With education and capabilities, they are able to earn cash as fast as the way they emptied their nail polish bottles.

2) With cash and capital, they now have the power to kick any one ass. Dressed in power suit, in the office, they kick all the guys ass...maybe some balls too.. Hail Venus!

3) The male still proves to be some usefullness, especially in the area of sexual pleasure. Till one fine day, some smart alec invented the Dildo. With that, Man is redundant.

4) With cash and more cash, who would need to worry about having a husband who might just cheat on you.

5) There is an equation. An increase in the amount of cash will result in a proportionate increase in the amount of LV bags. $=LV. And since LV is the common enemy or nemesis of males, an increase in LV bags will inversely cause a proportionate decrease in males. Therefore, ↑ Cash = ↑ LV bags = ↓ Males

6) If there is ever a need to change a lightbulb or repair a sink. Do you think you need a male in the house to do it? With cash and more cash, anything goes! Buy a new light, buy a new sink!

7) With those cute cuddly teddy bears on sale, who needs a guy to serenade the girl to bed with his arms all over her. Besides, hrow in additional cash, the teddy bear might even be programmed to do a hip hop dance and either sing or rap for you.

8) Basically being single means, not having to cook for that big fat slob idling his time away watching soccer. or alternatively, do girls need a guy to cook for him? what's hawker centre, Mcdonalds and pizza hut for.

9) If a woman ever need a baby, well, Angeline Joline has set the example. Now we can go international! After all, this is the age of globalisation. You can choose one from Timbatu to the one in the Himalayas Mountain. Alternatively, ladies can head to the sperm bank and have IVF. (But hey..that still require a male!) Or, well..clone!

10) Well, being single means, you have all the bed to yourself. You do not need to have sleepless nights having to fight over that bolster or blanket. Yo do not need to endure the loud thundering snores from another person.

A few reasons why guys doesnt need a girl in their life.

1) No more constant agony of having to guess why she's angry with you for not getting that shoes or why she's upset with you for hanging with your buddies instead of being with her.

2) You do not need to wonder why your wallet is burning a hole faster than you can fill it.

3) You do not need to worry about having to be in court for the wrong reason or having that already thick Women's charter to become thicker.

4) Food? well, with the age of globalisation, it has brought about standardisation too. Modern Males has now swear to a common standard diet - Burgers, fries, chips and beer. As for eating habits? Eat in fornt of the TV with ESPN channel tuned.

5) As for sexual pleasure. Well, since a long time in history, guys has always been very
'independent'. I shall not elaborate.

Ok. No offence to any gender out there. Im just being very cranky and lame. Ok till then. But not before this joke I heard from a friend.

Q) If a girl were to choose between bags of LVs, boxes of Jimmy Choos shoes and a guy, who would she choose?
A) The guy. Reason? She'll choose the guy and ask him to carry all those LVs and shoes.

A girl's fantasy - LV, Prada, Diamonds, Jimmy Choos
A guy's fantasy - Girls, girls, girls
See how faithful guys are!

1:40 AM;

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Jasper Tan
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